honestly

    I made this blog with the purpose of being honest and sharing my experiences as I travel, learn, and grow. I keep having to remind myself that “honesty” is not always easily shared. But I believe it to be the most valuable thing we can share with one another…

    I am the last person to be described “a homebody”. Ask my parents, I am never home. I am constantly on the go and keeping myself busy. I have been away from home for three years for school and for the summers and for numerous trips. Not once have I ever felt ‘homesick’. I am trying my hardest not to let these new feelings get the best of me. But if I had to guess, my mix of emotions have led me to believe I am suffering from a good old case of homesickness. I’m not sure if it’s a comfort thing or what. All I know is that I would gladly get on a plane right now and go home. 

    I know what you are thinking- “but wouldn’t you regret leaving” “you have the opportunity of a lifetime” “your life looks so amazing” “you look like you are having a blast”. You would not be wrong. I am aware of all these things. I am also battling everyday in my head asking myself if I am where I am supposed to be.     

    This is where God comes in. With the amount of alone time I have especially with transportation and what not, I don’t have an international phone plan or data. So while the rest of the people surrounding me are checking their latest newsfeed, social media posts, and messages, I am alone in my head. I have been filling that time with prayer and conversations with God. He has been the one thing I count on and he knows every single one of my worries. I continue to pray that these feelings of doubt and loneliness subside and that I am able to ride out these last few months. After all, it is the opportunity of a life time.