honestly

    I made this blog with the purpose of being honest and sharing my experiences as I travel, learn, and grow. I keep having to remind myself that “honesty” is not always easily shared. But I believe it to be the most valuable thing we can share with one another…

    I am the last person to be described “a homebody”. Ask my parents, I am never home. I am constantly on the go and keeping myself busy. I have been away from home for three years for school and for the summers and for numerous trips. Not once have I ever felt ‘homesick’. I am trying my hardest not to let these new feelings get the best of me. But if I had to guess, my mix of emotions have led me to believe I am suffering from a good old case of homesickness. I’m not sure if it’s a comfort thing or what. All I know is that I would gladly get on a plane right now and go home. 

    I know what you are thinking- “but wouldn’t you regret leaving” “you have the opportunity of a lifetime” “your life looks so amazing” “you look like you are having a blast”. You would not be wrong. I am aware of all these things. I am also battling everyday in my head asking myself if I am where I am supposed to be.     

    This is where God comes in. With the amount of alone time I have especially with transportation and what not, I don’t have an international phone plan or data. So while the rest of the people surrounding me are checking their latest newsfeed, social media posts, and messages, I am alone in my head. I have been filling that time with prayer and conversations with God. He has been the one thing I count on and he knows every single one of my worries. I continue to pray that these feelings of doubt and loneliness subside and that I am able to ride out these last few months. After all, it is the opportunity of a life time.

paris

When in Paris... 10/10 would recommend the following: 

1- Picnic in front of the Eiffel Tower 

2- Obviously you have to go to the Louvre 

3- Visit the Notre Dame (caution lots of pigeons)

4- Spend hours in Musée d'Orsay (don't forget to look up at the ceilings)

5- GO TO DISNEYLAND PARIS (MUST GO TO BOTH PARKS)

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one down- four to go

It has officially been one month since I have started this journey abroad and it feels like it’s been 5 (I swear January lasted forever). So far I have been to Madrid, Alicante, Altea, San Juan, Paris, and Granada. Each place beautiful in its own way with something new and exciting for me to see. 

It has been interesting to see life in a completely different way. The city life- like I mentioned before is a huge change from what I am used to. I have never relied on public transportation more in my life and I am still so amazed at how it all works. A common question lot of people have been asking me this past year “where do you want to live after Spain?” (And after my massage therapy school...) The truth is- I don’t know. Being away from home has equally made me realize that

1)Despite all my years of complaining about Arizona, I really do love it. 

2)There are still so many places I haven’t even been to before I decide where I want to be.

What I do know is that traveling has helped me realized that there is so much more. More to see, do, learn, and experience. 

*Pictures to come, or check my Facebook/Twitter/ Instagram for more*

 

class outside of class

contemporary art

Today my class went to the Museo de Arte Contemporáneo de Alicante. I don't know much about history or art to be honest. I felt very out of my element... But it was pretty interesting to look at all the creations and not to mention we weren't in a classroom. I'm pretty sure I wasn't supposed to take pictures but... oops. 

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Ayuntamiento de Alicante

We also went to Ayuntamiento de Alicante to see the inside and it was honestly unreal how beautiful it was. 

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my life as a beach

I have been spending a lot of time on the beach, overlooking the ocean...

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God created the sea just as He created you and me.

On days when the water is rough remember the moments when it returns calm and clear.

Waves will form and crash.

Tides will change and rip currents will form. 

The surface doesn't always show everything that is going on below...

Yet there is the beauty in all the surroundings.

The sand is the foundation and the base; this is my faith.

There are jetties that serve protection; this is my family.

The palm trees sway together as they experience changes in weather; these are my friends.

Travelers come to see and experience the beach; these are all the people I meet along the way. 

Some will stop and smile, maybe take a picture.

Others won't blink an eye and will walk right on by. 

Some might stay and grow, maybe even tear something down to create something new.

Each person will leave a footprint on my beach.

Big or small, their hearts will say it all. 

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change

Coming to Spain sounds like a dream come true, right? Well- I want to touch on how I got here. I had some incredibly tough decisions to make in order to come here. Saying goodbye to my family, my friends, leaving my job, leaving behind everything that was normal and comfortable. Everything that I knew. I walked away from it all. 

This past year has been a series of changes for me. I am aware that it is all apart of life and everything has to change eventually... This time a year ago I made the decision that I was going to stay in Ocean City, New Jersey for the summer and work. After that I was going to move back home to Phoenix and find an internship there. I moved out of Flagstaff in May of 2017 and I was ready to leave and never look back. Come time to leave I drove away with tears in my eyes. I never realized the impact that little mountain town had on me. The impact of all the wonderful people I had met. I thought that saving money by living at home would be a great idea. I didn't consider that I would be leaving some of the best places and people behind... This feeling returned when I built friendships over the summer in New Jersey and had to leave to come back home. Going into my fall semester interning at ASU I had a better idea of what it felt like to leave. It is never easy and each goodbye harder than the last. 

As I got ready to leave for Spain I reminded myself that this too would end in a goodbye. I also told myself "how lucky am I to have a reason to make saying goodbye so hard?"

There was a period of time when I almost backed out. I prayed and asked God that this was His plan for me. I agreed that if this was where He wanted me to go, I would follow. I still wasn't sure when I first came here that this was the right decision but I am hopeful it was. 

I guess what I am trying to say is that I miss America. I miss my house, my family, my dog, and my friends. I even miss my car. I am still so thankful to be here and so thrilled for the friendships I have just begun to create. I am more and more excited to travel everyday. I just wanted to tell everyone the truth. I also wanted to remind everyone how much they mean to me and that although my phone is living on airplane mode for five months, and only works when I have wifi, I think of you all everyday. I miss you all more than you know.

Love,

D

 

 

 

 

scratching the surface

    I want to tell everyone how amazing Spain is and how much fun I’ve had so far. I really can’t explain the beauty I have seen in my short nine days out of the country. Nine days… that sounds crazy because this has been one of the longest weeks of my life. Yet somehow each day feels as if it goes by in the blink of an eye. 

    Adjusting- I am trying to remind myself that it will take some time for my body to fully adjust to the time difference and the lifestyle change. Truthfully, the whole process has been draining. I am so grateful for all of this, but I could also go for a five day nap. I never expected for my mind to become so exhausted from constantly trying to figure out and understand what is going on around me. 

 

    Being here has made me realize that I was on auto-pilot at home (WAAAY more often than not). That is awful and slightly terrifying if you think about it. I am sure I’m not the only one either. I never had to try to understand the conversations going on around me, or the signs in front of me. I am so excited to be learning Spanish by immersing myself into a new culture/language. To be honest- it is probably the most challenging thing I have ever done. I am only two days into my classes and I am so nervous that I will not pick it up fast enough. (Two days. *internal note to breathe and remind myself two days is not a long time* )

    

    I will say that I have the tram system figured out, which is huge for me because public transportation is also like a foreign language (*small win??…=brownie points?*). I am able to speak enough Spanish to order myself a coffee at a near by café (+1 brownie point). I also have some great friends and roommates. My roommates have been BEYOND helpful with getting me familiarized with this city and everything else I need to know. So shoutout to Alicia, Chyann, and Arlette! 

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I truly am going to love it here. I am also positive that there will be challenges and obstacles.

just the beginning // getting settled

First detailed update since leaving the country! (caution this is long) 

 

    I left Phoenix on Tuesday and had two days of traveling. I am thankful to report that all went smoothly. Other than a minor hiccup which involved racing to get on my flight from Dallas to London… The important thing is that I made it to my final destination with all my belongings. 

    FAQ: 

    1. Q:“How many flights did you have?”

    A:“3 (Phoenix —> Dallas; —> London; —> Madrid)” 

    2.Q:”How long is the flight…and *list of questions that follow*-?”

    A:”From Dallas to London, 9 hours

    - no I couldn’t sleep

    - yes there was food (interesting but good)

    - I GOT FREE WINE

    -I watched four movies

    -In London I had a 5 hour layover, then a 2 and a half hour flight to Madrid. (which I finally slept)

    My friend Chyann was my hero of the week and was there to greet me just outside of security. With her help we went on a series of three separate metro transit rides before arriving a few blocks from where she had our Airbnb waiting for us (told you she was my hero). I was able to shower and then she showed me around Gran Vía, Madrid. We found a place to eat dinner. Gran Vía reminds me a lot of New York City. Not quite as crowded but the streets are narrow with lots of alleys, very city like I suppose (says the girl who lives in a desert). There are so many massive, beautiful buildings, all with unique and amazing architecture. 

    After we ate, we walked back to our place for the night and hit the hay- or so I tried. Adjusting to such a huge time difference (+8 hours) isn’t as easy as I hoped… Probably why it’s 3am and I am typing this… (to be fair it is 7pm in Phoenix). I did my best to sleep but after four hours I was wide awake… I finally crawled out of the top bunk and made my way to the other room and watched ‘How I Met Your Mother’ for about 6 hours until my computer died. Then I was able to sleep for another three hours or so. 

    We made eggs for breakfast and then hit the town! We walked to Museo del Prado, Plaza Mayor de Madrid, and Puerta del Sol. We went to a café in Puerta del Sol, had lunch at Trattoria Pinocchio Sánchez Bustillo. Then we had about 5 hours to kill before our train for Alicante.

 

There is a store that Chy wanted to go to that is called Primark. It is very similar to H&M and the Madrid location is 4 stories. No joke. F O U R!!! It was basically it’s own mall. I have never seen anything like it before. After we spent several hours in there, we wandered around looking for gelato... and failed. We looked up two different places; and either the maps lied, or we are silly and just missed them. Just wasn’t meant to be I guess…We settled for orange juice instead, which by the way, the orange juice here is AH-MAZING! Freshly squeezed and so yummy! Finally we made our way to the train station. 

    After a two hour train ride and about a five minute taxi ride, we finally made it to our apartment in Alicante!! I am unpacked and so excited to see this area in the daylight (we arrived around midnight).

It has been a long couple of days, but so far, all incredible. Today I walked a total of 9.48 miles (21,263 steps), my legs are definitely going to be sore! At least I am making up for all the sitting I did while getting here, right? 

 

Anyways, that’s all for now! Thank you to everyone who has reached out to let me know they were thinking of me while I was traveling! You all mean the world to me and I hope you all know that I miss you!!

 

Love, 

D

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7 things I learned in 2017...

1. "Everyone is a lesson or a blessing"- you are capable of learning something new from every person you meet. What you take away from them is up to you.  

2. Happiness is not dependent on your circumstances, but is a decision you make. 

3. Hang up and hangout. Technology is cool but don't forget that the people in front of us are not always going to be there.

4.  Being present is the best present. Not only should we be giving our undivided attention to the people in our lives, but to ourselves. Be present in every moment. Don't waste your time being in the past or the future. 

5. Every action you make will have a reaction. This sounds obvious I know, but remember that everyone is affected by our choices and decisions. Take this however you want but this applies to so many aspects in life. 

6. "Ships were not built for the harbor"- Stepping outside your comfort zone is the safest place for growth. I have learned this in my internship, and with my decision to travel to Spain. In making this blog.

7. I will never stop falling in love with the art God creates in the skies and on this Earth. While I am anxious to travel and explore the world, I will hold Arizona close to my heart everywhere I go.

the sun will rise again

the sun will shine again

 

I have good days. I have great days. I have bad days and worse days. I am so thankful for the bad because they teach me to be grateful for the good. 

 

One of my reasons for making this blog was to be honest with everyone in my life as well as myself. I would be lying if I said that I was always so positive and happy and as cheerful as I might seem. Aren’t we all though? I was hanging out with an old friend the other night and our conversation allowed me to really reflect on how far I have come. This was a friend who saw me on some of my worst days and was close to me through some of the hardest obstacles I faced. He was always supportive and real with me. He knew that I needed help long before I admitted it. That was part of our conversation was that I was telling him how I was working on being honest with myself. Depression and anxiety are a part of who I am. Why is that so scary and hard to say? I don’t know but I do know that it is the truth, and I am so thankful I was able to reach a point in my life where I was able to admit that and seek the help I needed. 

 

After graduation I looked back on my last three and a half years and realized that this was a moment I never saw happening. That sounds awful I know. But for whatever reason I never thought I would make it this far. Life truly is a day by day thing and if we spend our time stuck in the past or rushing to the future we miss everything right before us. Just remember that you are always strong enough to make it through whatever it is you are going through. Be proud of yourself. Love who you are becoming and respect yourself.

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new year's resolution

I typically will create a list of things that I want to accomplish or whatever for the new year and the list is always very similar. This year I have made the decision to make the world a better place. How? I have decided that as a college graduate and an adult, what better way to try and make a difference than to sponsor a child in a third world country. So I am officially the sponsor of five year old Marcos. On top of this I figured a list wouldn’t hurt either and I like to think of twelve things, one for each month of the year(not that the order matters)… so here goes nothing!

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  1. Make a positive impact on everyone I meet
  2. Keep an open mind
  3. Don’t drink Tequila
  4. Write something down everyday
  5. Pray for someone new each day
  6. Learn Spanish
  7. Be present
  8. Don’t kill time on my phone
  9. Eat healthy/ exercise daily
  10. Practice yoga
  11. Cherish the little things
  12. Be kind always

words. are. power.

Writing is such a beautiful thing. Words have the power to create something so strong that it could linger in our minds forever. Words are used to tell stories, share memories, express emotions, and give life to the thoughts inside our head. 

 

There are times when I look back on things I wrote, or letters that where written to me, and I am able to relieve those memories. I have a journal that my mom wrote to me and my brother when she knew that her cancer was terminal. In this journal she did her best to share as much as she could with us. Each page a new topic written on the heading. "Describe your childhood home" "Grandparents houses and how often did you visit" "Where did you go to church, become a Christian and about faith" "What chores did you have growing up?" "First job" "First kiss". The list goes on... She wrote this hoping that we would be able to look back and read it when we were older. I can't express enough how grateful I am for this. Her words are so full of passion, love, and God. She was actually an angel on Earth I swear. She spoke freely of her love for God and her faith as often as she could. Through her words my mom inspired me to remain a believer even in my darkest times of doubt. I have fought my own faith journey many times, after her death, after losing my Nana, and losing friends too young. I would not be the person I am today without the testimony she shared. The power of her words changed me forever. 

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I had a friend pass away about a year ago. He was a friend from church and he was someone who I thought of as a little brother. Every year my church youth group would go on mission trips and retreats. At the end of these trips we would always write to one another either on a poster or in separate notes. We call them "Agape" notes/ posters. Agape is the Greek word, meaning love. I loved this friend like a little brother. I wanted to protect him, and show him right from wrong. I wanted to prove that God's love was real and that he was loved and important. I never got the chance to truly share my words with him. He was brought to Heaven shortly after his 18th birthday. God has a plan for everyone and everything. I believe that. 

On one of my Agape posters, this friend wrote the most unforgettable note to me. His words are beyond powerful, they are engraved in my heart. They bring tears to my eyes, a smile across my face, and a bittersweet feeling in my heart. Full of love, because of the way I impacted him in such a way that he could share these thoughts with me, yet empty because I feel like I was unable to express my gratitude to him. 

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The parts that really get to me... "I know for a fact that you have changed my life forever...You are like the big sister I never had. You are truly my best friend ever...It means so much to me when you include me in whatever you do. I will remember you forever." 

There is always a knot in my throat after that. Because I will remember him forever. He has changed my life. These words are something that have power beyond belief. If only you knew him you would understand that these words were not common. This coming from the kid who was constantly getting in trouble. He was always plotting something that was never a good idea. He used to swear under his breath while we sat in prayer circles. These words have power. 

a letter to you

Dear Friend,

I know we might not get to talk everyday. That's okay.

I know that sometimes when days turn into weeks, and those weeks turn into months... you haven't forgotten me. Just as I haven't forgotten you. 

There is something each day that will remind me of you. Your face or voice will pop in my head and I will hold that memory close to my heart. Sometimes I will reach out and let you know that I am thinking of you. But for all the times I don't, just remember you are loved. 

I have learned that it is impossible to stay in contact with every single person who means something to us every single day of our lives. It is a challenge I have faced for years. So instead I have learned to smile when you cross my mind. I will remind myself how blessed I am to have such wonderful people and happy memories. I will ask God to send you a similar sign and to show you love and comfort. 

Don't be sad if I am far. My love will go beyond any distance. I mean this more than I will ever be able to express.

Love Always,

D

 

thankful

Holidays are my favorite because spending time with my family is something I cherish. I have always found it hard to grasp the idea of life without them. We hear it all the time right? "Be grateful" "Count your blessings" "Cherish this". 

I would definitely agree that losing so many loved ones has been my constant reminder to be more grateful for the people in my life. This year has proved that to me once again...

For a house that is normally full of 16 + people on Thanksgiving, this year we had 10. We have been through some of the more difficult roads as a family together, and I am sure there are still more to come. Today, I am content. I am happy, and I am... THANKFUL for all that I have. For all who I have. For everything that I have gained or lost. 

I am thankful for...

  • Family
  • Friends
  • Freedom
  • Safety
  • Education
  • Employment 
  • Internship
  • Health
  • Fitness
  • Nature
  • Adventures
  • Opportunities

I am thankful for so much in my life and I pray that not a day goes by where I don't remember that. Every day is a blessing and not a promise. However, I promise to count my blessings every day. 

 

but only for a moment…

I have moments when my head is so full; of thoughts, words ready to flow, ideas spinning, memories flying around. Then other times it’s as if I am frozen and everything is spinning around me but I’m unable to grasp anything. These are moments lacking the clarity I crave. I wish that everything inside my head was simple and explainable. Honestly, sometimes I think it is. I think that I am so trained to overthink and worry about every detail, that the clarity vanishes. These moments scare me. Moments when I am unsure of what to say or think or do. I know that when I take a deep breath the moment will pass. Truthfully it will only last for a moment.

 

Life is made up of all kinds of moments. What I remind myself is that all the pieces of the puzzle make up the picture. Not all are perfect, or beautiful. Altogether they create a master piece. Nothing will last forever, but only for a moment. 

feeling is a good thing

I often find myself lost in thought. Recently I have been practicing mindfulness and becoming more aware of my body and mind. I think that I used to spend so much time in the past stressing, trying to control everything about myself. The way I looked, acted, felt, performed. I have slowly become more open to the idea of awareness vs. control or change. I still believe that I have areas needing improvement, because who doesn’t? How are you able to improve, or change anything, without knowing what needs fixing? For example, in times that I find I am becoming frustrated or upset, I take a moment to scan my body. “What is this emotion? What is the cause of this feeling? Take a deep breath.” In the past I would notice when I was beginning to feel something, and instead of exploring what it was or why I was experiencing it, I would automatically try to change it to “happy” or “okay”. I think a lot of us are like that. We don’t allow ourselves to feel. We only let the “good” show. In my personal experience I only recognize good and happy because I have experienced and felt the bad and pain.

It is not a crime to feel emotions. There are so many and they are all so important to building and creating the person you become. We don’t always need to wear a mask that says you are happy and great. It is okay not to be okay all the time. So the next time you are mad or upset or hurt. Just remember to recognize that feeling and then allow your body to breathe through it and remember that it is okay to need a minute (or a day).

I don’t want to be an actress. I want everyone to know me. The real me. Not some act that they see in public. One of the most important values I have is honesty. If I am not being honest with myself, or others, how is the rest of the world supposed to be honest with me? I have been recognizing when I start to put on the mask that smiles and says “everything is fine”. I am learning to become okay with not needing to please people. I guess that’s what it all comes down to. People pleasing. I am definitely a person who will try to go above and beyond to please others. Almost as if I crave the validation or praise they give me. I hate that about myself. I love helping others and I love to see their reactions when something kind is done for them. But I hate that I feel like I have to do it in order to be good enough. I am working on it. I am becoming better at just practicing kindness and love and not wanting or expecting anything in return. 

enough. is. enough

If you decide that you want to live your life differently, it is okay. It is okay, to change our minds. It is okay, to be unsure of what we want to do, or where we want to go in life. Everything does not NEED a plan. Even if there is a plan, remember... it is allowed to change. 

 

I know this sounds silly, but just the other day I was in Starbucks when I overheard a math tutor. She was telling the two girls she was working with that in math, there are sometimes multiple ways to solve a problem and still have the right answer. I don’t know why but those words really stuck out to me. Obviously I wasn’t working on math problems that applied to her information…But I couldn’t help to think that life is the same way.

 

I feel like so many people have so much pressure to be and do so much and I just want everyone to realize they are enough. I struggle with this so much and I feel like most everyone does. YOU ARE ENOUGH. YOU. ARE. ENOUGH.

 

"There is pressure to pick the right school when applying for colleges. Then once you are in school, you have to have the right major, with good grades. Making sure to build your resume and join clubs. Maybe join Greek life, but don’t forget to study for excessive hours for each of your exams. Eat a healthy and balanced diet. Exercise regularly. Make new friends, but not the wrong ones. Explore campus and the town, but be careful. Have no money, and need a job? Balance the time to work, because you have to pay for everything, but remember you are a student first... and what's a college student without a social life. Put in the hours to keep your gas tank full and food on your plate. Are you getting a good night's rest? Make sure to sleep for at least 6-8 hours a night."

-expectations

 

Want to change your major? DO IT! Don’t waste your time doing something that you can’t see yourself doing and enjoying. There are so many options for different career paths out there. Also you don’t need to decide right away. Never torture yourself by forcing yourself to be unhappy. 

positive impact through personal narratives

It’s important to know who you are. Being vulnerable is the key to finding yourself. Brene Brown once said, “Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they are never a weakness,” and this is something I have personally had to work on in order to find myself.

My name is Dani Brown, I am 21 years old, and I have what I would call a normal life. I am a senior at NAU, studying fitness and wellness, I played club volleyball, and I was a peer mentor on my school campus. But, “Who am I? Most importantly, what is my purpose?”

How many of you have been affected by cancer in some way? Whether it was a family member, friend, or even yourself. My first life lesson: cancer sucks. The reality of this awful disease hit me when I was just six years old. My mom passed away after battling for two long years with stage 4 colon cancer. Shortly after that I watched as my dad’s mom lost her own battle.

I grew up with everything I needed and more. But I always felt like a part of me was missing. I had friends and family who loved me. But I was never the same after losing them and I didn’t realize until just a few years ago that fighting all the frustration and confusion I had with the death of my mom and grandma, it caused a lot more bumps in my road. Today, I am happy to share with you all that my father remarried and my original family of four that sadly shrunk into just my dad, brother, and myself, grew to a full house of seven with a new mom and three older brothers.

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How many of you have older siblings? Growing up with 4 older brothers is a life story all on its own. But I will say that they taught me to be tough. Now this doesn’t mean that I never cried or got into fights or anything like that, but I mean mentally tough. As the youngest I looked up to all four of them. I wanted to do everything they did, but better.

 However, I also learned that if something was bothering me, no one else needed to know. All those feelings I had about my mom were for me, myself, and I. Over time I became depressed but I knew that if I told someone it would make it real, as opposed to just the idea of it in my head. With that being said, I hid this side of myself for years. I would like to think I was pretty sneaky about it. I would also like to believe that no one knew what was really going on. You see, I wasn’t always sad, the feelings came in waves and usually there were certain things that triggered those feelings. Once I started to realize this I began to get better at coping with it.

 I was managing this well throughout high school until my Junior year… I was having unexplained health issues and multiple doctors ran numerous tests on me. What they discovered was nothing close to anything I could have ever imagined.

 I learned that I was born without my uterus. Honestly, I had no idea that this was even possible. Let alone how it could have happened to me. Imagine being 17 years old, and being told that you will never have children. A few months later I was a senior in high school. I was on the varsity volleyball team, in student government, had my best friends, a boyfriend, the whole 9-yards. One day after school my dad tells me and my brothers that the doctors found cancer in his tonsils he just had removed… and the cancer had spread to his lymph nodes, and possibly his lungs.

 I felt as if I was being punished for something, I thought the world was out to get me. This only made my depression harder to hide. At this point I felt alone because my logic was “there is no one who could possibly understand what I have gone through, and going through”.

 They say, “time heals all wounds” right? Or maybe it is the knowledge that we gain over the time we are given. Four years have gone by since the beginning of all this chaos and here I am. Telling a bunch of strangers my life story. I have come to terms that nothing will truly ever stop me from being a mom one day.

 I can relate to people who have experienced death in their families, or serious illnesses, or unexplained health issues. I know the feeling of being alone and in the dark when everyone thinks you are the light. However, I’m a more understanding person and a better friend because of the tragedies in my life.

Once you know who you are and what strengths you have gained by living the life you were given, you can use that to connect with those around you.

 

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my daily prayer

Dear God,

I pray for my future husband wherever he may be. I pray that he strives each and every day to grow closer to you. I pray that he has good health. That he is taking care of the body you supplied for him. I pray that whenever he is feeling lonely or sad, he turns to you. I pray that he is full of love for you and everyone he meets. I pray that he has a kind and strong heart. I pray that he has dedication and drive for anything he wishes to accomplish. I pray that he has a passion for life. I pray for my future husband every day, no matter where he may be. I pray for patience as I wait and continue to pray until we meet.

 

Amen.

I am the girl

I am the girl you see with the smile on her face.

I am constantly laughing while keeping my pace.

I am clumsy and silly and all over the place.
I am the girl you see with a smile on her face.

I don’t have it all figured out.

In fact, half the time I don’t know what I’m talking about.

I try to live my life without any doubt.

But on the inside I want to scream and shout.

I don’t have it all figured out.

There are things in life I can’t understand.

Like how God has everything planned.

How can events be so secret and yet so grand.

There are things in life I can’t understand.

Timing is an endless question of mine.

What event decides when you cross the line?

When it’s all over can we recombine?

Timing is an endless question of mine.

Sometimes I feel like I’ve hit a wall.

As if life throws me around like a ball.

I can be jumbled and scared after all.

Sometimes I feel like I’ve hit a wall.

I am the girl you wouldn’t expect to see.

Crying alone, scared, and feeling incomplete.

Someone who has seen defeat.

But has chosen not to fleet.

I am the girl you wouldn’t expect to see.

Remember this poem and think of me.

I am the girl who acts wild and free.

I can hide most of the pain you see.

But that does not change what has made me me.

Remember this poem and think of me.

I am the girl you see with the smile on her face.

I am constantly laughing while keeping my pace.

I am clumsy and silly and all over the place.

I am the girl you see with a smile on her face.

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